hhh...what a shocking news

it started from the curiosity about the minor trace. so i asked a friend of mine who has access to look for an information bout the 'minor trace'.
so what did i get?what did i know?
well i got the old trace. i got where the trace has left itself a long long ago.
some may say it was a bad trace since the other traces are beautiful.
all i asked is a recent updates, but what i got is a past trace (which is more shocking to know it)

some might feel to leave the trace, choose not following the same footprints, since the ugly print has been seen.
i have a doubt thinking too.
what should i do? i have never been in this kind of situation, nor my friends have.
i think to leave all hopes, restart from the begining again.
but all i feel is sadness. i did think to leave the trace, but it is because another reason. it is not the same reason what ordinary people think.
i did think to leave the trace because i dont have any self confident to follow the trace.
i feel that i am not suitable to walk beside the trace. i did think that what it needs is a better person, better than myself.
haha...... the friend of mind criticize me. She said that i was like a girl who begs the king to choose her to become one of his concubine...HHHH

so tell me am i crazy or not?
it seems that all hopes have developed into mount of expectations, without knowing the real sight from outside the box.

01 Feb 2009